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This Space Intentionally Left Blank: Making Time for Yourself

I’m a very busy person. I work full-time, at times take classes part-time, run a few Meetup.com groups, and have plenty of friends to fill up any time in between those. Between all of this, I already have a fairly full calendar, and with polyamory – and therefore all my partners – in the mix, it’s easy to feel like I have absolutely no free time.

I am what I would consider a social introvert. I love being around people and socializing, but eventually I need to curl up at home, with a book and some cocoa for a day, with no social obligations. It’s extremely rare that I find someone that I can be around while recharging, so that means that time needs to be spent alone for the most part. I have been lucky enough that my husband and one other partner are both people I can recharge around, but even then I still need my time alone.

Last week, my calendar was absolutely packed. My long-distance partner was visiting. We visited a friend a few hours away for a couple days. I had a team event after work. Another night I ran a meetup. This past week was no different – Two date nights with my husband, and two other dates. One appointment. I’ve also had multiple opportunities to see how things go with a few new (potential?) partners in the past month alone. With all this, I felt that I was about to go insane.

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Chelsey’s Poly Contract (With Myself)

When I began my journey into polyamory, I had to decide what was healthy for me in my relationships. I eventually wrote down my boundaries and limits. These boundaries apply mostly to me and are reminders of healthy practices, but since most of the points are essentially spelling out respect and ethical behavior, I hold my partners to most of the same standards. I revisit it every so often to make sure it matches what I want (you can check the bottom of the page to see the update dates). I’ve posted it here not because it’s the be-all-end-all of poly manifestos, but because it might help others figure out where they want to start, even if it is to do the complete opposite of what I want and need.

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